Menu Planning Monday, Because Apparently, All Those Presents Weren't a Personal Chef

I can't believe my last post of the year is probably going to be an MPM, but I suppose it's fitting. What started as a personal challenge to myself turned in to a great habit this year that has saved me money and aggravation without causing too much disruption in the rest of my life. Quelle miracle!

It was a wonderful holiday, though; the idea that Santa left any presents at all (instead of coal; my boy was glumly steeling himself that at least if he got coal, it would have to mean a trip to Strasburg Railroad to give it to the trains who could use it, after all) was a thrill, and that he got The One Thing he wanted more than anything else really sent him over the edge (in a good way). And the two year old, who only wanted turtles, was so thrilled with his brother's toys, we STILL have unopened gifts for the little one on the couch in the living room. Which, I know, is a miracle for the four year old too, that he hasn't ripped them all open himself.

Anyway. A strange menu-planning week but an easy one....

Monday: Finally trying the Lemon Chicken Schnitzel, with cauliflower on the side.

Tuesday: Happy 2008! My father-in-law's birthday; we're hosting the party. An intimate family dinner of 17. Honeybaked ham and turkey; potato salad; green salad; some other veggie (delegated); our favorite crock-pot pork roast; mac and cheese; and more appetizers than any 38 people would eat. I have GOT to clean out my freezer.

Wednesday: Leftovers.

Thursday: Leftovers.

Friday: Might eat out. Might be soup from a ham bone. We'll see how the leftovers go.

Saturday: My husband's boss has his traditional after-holidays open house. I'm not going but I won't have to feed him so that makes it easy.

And HEY, one of the stocking stuffers this year was Jane's Krazy Mixed Up Salt, which I have always loved with oil and vinegar on a salad or sprinkled on mushrooms broiled with butter. But my sister-in-law discovered it when someone brought it for dinner during her recovery in the following format: Sprinkle on chicken breasts on baking sheet/pan/whatever. Cover in foil. Bake at 350 for 45 mintues. So easy, the boys loved it, and a total godsend as it's a product I always have in the house.

Merry New Year, everyone. Any resolutions? For the most part, we try to make ones that are kind to ourselves, rather than beating ourselves up, but this year, I am going to try very hard to not eat after dinner/dessert. I have gotten in the bad habit of eating when I am tired, confusing one need for another, and need to cut it out. A new year is as good a time as any to start a new habit, right? Now I just need the "kind to ourselves" one too. Our best ever was the "try a new restaurant every month" but with the added babysitter cost that is now prohibitive. I'm thinking "one on-demand movie per month" which would thrill my husband....

Out of Fall Into Reading

So, here we are at the end of fall, approaching solstice. Time to assess the fall challenge...

My original list post is here. Now here's where the list stands.




Finished:

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Price of Admission by Daniel Golden

Three Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting by Christie Mellor

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen

Started:

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Really liked the beginning, except the one gory bit, but once I realized I couldn't make either book group night featuring this book, I moved on to others. Can't wait to finish it though.

Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim Ginnot
I keep flipping through to parts that I hope will help me communicate better with my son. Many of the suggestions work; I love the "reflecting what you hear" rather than "jumping in with advice or reaction" technique. However, this works much better with my even-tempered younger son than my hot-headed older one. Still, instructive.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel
This is on so many people's "favorite books" list, I've been eager to read it forever. I know that Pi ends up on a boat with a tiger. But despite dutiful reading, I can't even get to the boat.

Excellence Without A Soul: How a Great University Forgot Education by Harry R. Lewis
How can a higher-ed junkie pass up this title?! Only later did I realize I have met his wife several times professionally, and probably him, too. I love his frankness, his historical perspectives and personal beefs, and realizing that many of the things that drive me crazy about the institutions where I've been are just endemic to higher education in general.

Didn't Even Get There:

The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
This has to be next on the list since it is the next one my book group is discussing.

The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
This was added because it was the Fall Reading Project book where I work. However, the program coordinator never gave me a copy. I know, there are libraries, but when I had in hand multiple others, it was hard to not just figure I'd wait until my "official" copy arrived. It may be a while. Since at this point, it already has been.

My Life with the Saints by James Martin
Oh, this makes me sad. He and I were in school together and have friends-of-friends in common. I love hearing him on NPR and got this book last Christmas, so I was hoping to, you know, finish it within the YEAR I got it. Apparently that wasn't meant to be.

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith
This was for one of my book groups. I never read it before, either, so this seemed like as good a time as any. But I suspect somehow it will still be there on my spring list.

Hey, not bad overall. I knew it was ambitious when I listed it. And the challenge was great for keeping me on track and not buying any more books (ok, I bought three books this fall) until I tackled some more of the ones I had. Overall, I have to call it a success; thanks for hosting, Katrina!

Fall Into Reading--Simple Abundance

Ok, theoretically, this is cheating. Since Simple Abundance is a daybook, I had to read ahead almost two whole weeks to finish it in time for it to count for "fall." But that felt authentic to me, so I did it anyway.

I started this in spring, even though the author tsks-tsks at readers who don't start at the new year. I figured if I didn't start Right Then, I never would. And I actually went back and started the readings from the beginning, as she suggested, as well as keeping up with the daily readings day by day.

This book had a real emotional undercurrent for me as the copy I read belonged to my late sister-in-law. Labor Day of 2001, she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She went through treatments and was in remission for a time before it finally took her life in 2005. But her transformation in that time was incredible.

She and I were opposites in many ways; she had a "Martha Stewart doesn't live here" plaque in her house. In my house, it would be ironic--to be read with the unprinted "just in case it wasn't BLATANTLY OBVIOUS by the messes and lack of decor!" In her house, it was a point of pride, to be read with the unprinted "all evidence to the contrary." She was a chef extraordinaire, sewed most of her own clothes and lots of the home decor, and was a whiz at decorating. But what we had in common was a tendency to clutter and slobbishness, and we always vied for the "last to dinner" spot at family events.

Well. In between rounds 1 & 2 of her cancer, she had an epiphany. She might die, and if she did, her house and family would fall apart without her. That was clearly unacceptable. So, she up and joined Flylady and another online housekeeping support group, read Sarah Ban Breathnach, feng shui'ed her house, and changed her life. One of her last Christmas gifts to me was a Control Journal, which she beseeched me to use, since I (at that point) had one little boy and the schedules weren't totally out of control yet. She re-did one bathroom and picked all the stuff for another. She painted her office in auspicious colors, and got very friendly with her label maker. She created information centers for both sons and household matters. She trashed or organized just about everything, redecorated the entire downstairs, and built the six raised vegetable gardens she always wanted to thwart the bunnies while she grew her own everything.

And then the cancer came back. The relapse was swift and awful and took her from us in less than four months. But the house stood as a testament to her amazing skills, her love for her family, and the work she had done to prepare them to keep things going in the case of her untimely death.

Where was I? Oh, yes: Simple Abundance. For what turned out to be the last two years of my sister-in-law's life, this was at her bedside. I know it spoke to her in much deeper ways than it is reaching me. It is a guide to "excavating your authentic self," mostly through the pursuit of a more comfortable home (And I mean comfortable, not as a euphemism for "expensive.") but also through the process of changing your thoughts about what "abundance" might mean for you.

Some parts of it were great kick-starts: reminders to go through the closet with more than "have I worn it?" and "does it fit?" in mind, but also "is this who I want to be?" Reminders for me that when I am done with something I need to send it to the universe where it will do more good. Reminders that God or the universe is out there, listening to what I need, and providing, in big and small ways. There were some great quotes ("The goal of all work is to be happy at home") and good sourcebooks quoted (The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, among others).

I couldn't live it, though. Some things just didn't resonate with me. I never take baths, for example, because that would mean cleaning out our tub before and after, at which point the relaxation from the bath would be moot. I don't drink tea as often as the author appears to. Haunting antique shops and second-hand stores is not in my near future, unless it's a consignment shop for kids' stuff. Maybe I'm not ready for the Simple Abundance lifestyle, even though the tea and antiquing and baths are clearly just meant to inspire the reader to figure out her own authentic pleasures within her means.

Or maybe I still see this too much as my sister-in-law's book. It was a teary morning when I reached the page that was the last one she'd marked. But I will definitely be keeping it as a resource, for general inspiration, and to have at hand when I need to be reminded of some of its lessons--or just reminded of my sister-in-law.

Fall Into Reading--Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen

Wow, I really, really needed this book. Parenting was starting to feel like a trudge for me, with two rambunctious boys with interests that often seemed to diverge completely from mine. But "Larry," as he refers to himself throughout the book, reminded me the most critical job of parenting is to "only connect." He provided plenty of examples of how to be silly, which I truly felt like I'd forgotten, tucked away under the "protecting them from themselves" jobs of mothering. Some of the strategies helped diffuse what could have been confrontational situations. (For example: My older son started using a plastic dinosaur to "attack" startled little brother out of the blue. "EEEEK!" Mommy [me] yelled. "It's a dinosaur! Let's get out of here!" and I bolted from the playroom. It was then older son's turn to be startled, then, with a giggle in his voice, saying kindly, "No, no, Mommy, it's just a toy, see? There's nothing to be afraid of." This was nothing short of a miracle.) Others I have a lot of trouble with--especially his "you can't beat them so you might as well join them and redirect when you can" attitude about violence/gun play with boys (or Barbies for girls).

The metaphor he uses most often is that of children as having "emotional cups" that need "filling" with connections with others, mostly through play. When a child's cup is low, they have a harder time behaving well. The cup gets filled by good experiences, fun times, and love. The cup is depleted by disappointment and isolation. It's a powerful image, and something that resonated with me was when he pointed out, "It drives me crazy when people say, 'Oh, he's just doing that because he wants attention. Leave him alone.' Does anyone say, 'Oh, he's just doing that because he's hungry. Don't feed him'?" He gave me tools for hopping in to "bad" play patterns and disrupting them in to more acceptable ones, or steering in to more mutually enjoyable activities (for example, I'm trying to read to the boys more during the day, not just at night).

Other times, he was able to shed light on some patterns; our older son cannot stand to lose anything, plus he turns everything in to a race. But he also whines so much about wanting to win the race-of-the-moment that he ends up handicapping himself--while he is still yelling about needing to put his shoes on, his baby brother is out the door, which ruins his day. Larry writes about what competition and winning might represent to the child, and when and how they might want and need to win, and how to model losing for them. He also gives strategies for figuring out whether a child needs not only to win, but to win easily, or to win by earning it, or whether he might really just want the fun of a game.

But his best chapter, in my book (ha ha), was the last. In the last chapter, Larry gets to the idea that parents have "cups" that need filling too, and unless ours are full, we will struggle to fill our children's. We fill our cups with kid snuggles too, but also by talking with other parents, reconnecting with spouses, and doing things for ourselves. That sounds obvious, and like something I've been doing to some extent, between Mothers & More, the job, etc., but it made a lot of sense to me all of a sudden: I have great friends but few (between jobs, their own kids, and time zones) that I can just call to vent for five minutes as my own "time out." So I need to find some other way to let off some steam and refill my own cup in day to day ways.

I won't pretend it's been easy. And I can't shrug him off, because I realize that where Playful Parenting isn't working is where I am too much of a stiff, no-fun grownup to do the things he suggests that might make a difference. But little by little, his strategies are teaching me new ways to deal with my sons in a happier fashion, which makes a little loss of dignity a fine tradeoff. It's an easy book to read, and a tough one to put in practice. Or at least it is for me--which tells me that I really need it. For anyone who admires those parents who just "get" kids and connect with them easily and wants to nurture that in themselves, I highly recommend this book. It has certainly earned a permanent spot on our shelves.

WFMW--Part 2, As In, Probably Too Late To Be Of Any Use Whatsoever This Year

So, I just had to post this since not one but two friends told me in the last two days about how putting up the outside lights almost ended their marriages, what with contrasting senses of design (ie, what amount of "sag" was appropriate for the lights) and concern on some parts that putting Actual Nails in the outside of the house would lead to rainwater getting in which would lead to rot.

Surely I am not the only one who has discovered the Scotch removable hooks? I love these things all over my house--heaven for the indecisive and decidedly unhandy. You stick 'em on your wall, and when you are tired of them, you slide the hook up, revealing a tab underneath, which you pull, and voila! The thing comes off the wall. I have only had this fail once, and it was when the hook broke off and I couldn't slide it off to get to the tab underneath.

But meanwhile, those ultra-smart people at Scotch came out with these:
and we have used them to put up the lights in the boys' rooms (well, one anyway; the older one has subtle white hooks in his room year-round since we were decorating his room for Christmas before we discovered these) ever since. I also use them in my office at work; especially since my job tenure is tenuous at best, I don't feel right putting holes in the wall. (You know in The Princess Bride when Westley is describing what it's like to work for the Dread Pirate Roberts, who keeps saying, "I'll most likely kill you in the morning"? It's a little like that. I mean, we're planning stuff for February--all of, what, 6-8 weeks away?--and people don't want to put my name on the brochure going out in case I don't work there by then. Come on now, people. You can't tell me that the search committee is going to hire a candidate and have them in place in eight weeks when four of them are winter break!)

But I digress. In my office, I've used these on glass, stone, and plaster, and all have worked fine. Five are holding up some cute ornaments on a mostly-blank wall; the rest are holding little twinkly lights. But I have in fact used them outside as well, though only the bigger ones, so that does work. As a caveat, I would take them down every season since I don't think the weather does the "removability" factor any favors.

That works for me; how about you? Go see Shannon to see what else is working for folks!

WFMW--Heather's List of Stocking Stuffers

This list was given to me one Christmas by my friend Heather. I ran a quick errand for Heather one December, and in return, she brainstormed stocking stuffers for me, with assistance from our other friend Melinda. The original is complete with illustrations for things like "firestarter" and "ear cover band" and the list itself is one of my most treasured gifts! So as a pre-Christmas gift to Blogworld, I share it with all of you. This list isn't that old but already some things are outdated (see #4); I'm leaving them there, however, as part of the tribute to them but also in case they spark some creative idea for you. With continued thanks to my friends Heather and Melinda.

Heather's Stocking Stuffer List
1. Migraine Mask
2. neck support for travel
3. Film
4. Video film for video camera
5. Blockbuster gift certificates
6. razors
7. trial size toiletries
8. McDonald's gift certifiates
9. teas/specialty coffees
10. candies
11. nail file
12. gum/breath mints
13. hair accessories (barrettes, headbands)
14. pocket calendar
15. Christmas ornament
16. socks
17. undershirts
18. Advil/Tylenol
19. cough drops
20. notecards/stationery
21. gloves
22. ear cover band
23. costume jewelry
24. lapel pins
25. magazine subscription (or just one magazine)
26. cologne/perfume
27. photo album page inserts
28. business card holders
29. magnets for fridge
30. coasters
31. scented candles
32. massage oils/lotions
33. backscratcher
34. deck of cards
35. small picture frames
36. key chain
37. small picket knife/key chain--very useful!!
38. pens
39. batteries
40. penlight
41. nightlight
42. shoe polish
43. seeds/garden bulbs
44. jewelry cleaner for rings
45. ice cream scooper
46. tights
47. bagel slicer
48. bottle opener
49. potholder
50. pocket size tissues
51. letter opener
52. cookie cutters
53. mail sorter that sits on desk to hold bills
54. small sewing emergency kit
55. lip gloss/chapstick
56. car ice scraper for windshield
57. blank audio cassette tapes
58. car games (mini backgamon, etc.)
59. Far Side desk calendar
60. prepaid phone card (buy 10 free minutes)
61. stamps
62. scented sachets for drawers
63. scented drawer paper liners
64. boxers
65. scarf
66. car wash gift certificate
67. contact lens solution
68. nail polish & remover
69. coffee travel mug
70. coffee warmer electric plates for desk
71. big chip clip (to keep chips fresh)
72. travel laundry bag
73. mini tote umbrella
74. firestarter
75. golf balls!

Menu Planning Monday--Have a Holly Jolly Edition

Ho Ho Ho! Merry holidays, everyone. My week fell apart dinnerwise last week and I can't even tell you what we ate anymore. This week doesn't have much promise either. But I can tell you this: if you ever get invited to dine chez Lemonade & Kidneys, by all means, GO. While neither lemonade nor kidneys were on the menu, everything we had there, from the avocado creme to the savory-sweet meatballs, was divine. And the company was fantastic. Many thanks, friend!

So, this week. Can't hold a candle to yesterday, but what are you going to do? My pantry is so bulging this week, I'm only purchasing perishables and hopefully few of those. If all goes well, here's the week:

Monday: Dinner By Design pork chops in parmesan, or something like that. Carrots, probably roasted, on the side. Salad, if I buy some today. Otherwise, my favorite frozen creamed spinach.

Tuesday: I have a holiday party. The boys are on their own. Which I'm sure means spaghetti and meatballs for them.

Wednesday: Remember that hot chicken salad? Yeah, never quite made the chicken last week, so it appears again here.

Thursday: Crock pot pork roast, mashed potatoes, something green.

Friday: The lemon gnocchi mentioned at Don't Eat Baby a few weeks ago.

Oh, and somewhere (Saturday?) will be the chicken schnitzel from Don't Eat Baby. I'm wondering why I wandered so far from Rachael Ray. I think she's oversaturated so I'm avoiding her (though I will fiercely defend her choice to make hay while her sun shines in this moment! Rock on, sister friend, and ride this pony as long as you can) but I forget, she really does make some of the best quick, complete dinners out there.

Enough of that. Here we are at Dec. 17 and all we have up at our house is a lame little string of LED lights on our puny azaleas. I have to get going so the boys don't think that Christmas decorations happen to other people only! Oh, and plug in the slow cooker so my chicken actually happens this week. Merry everything, everyone!