Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Out of the Mouths of Babes
While walking to pick up the little one at preschool, the older one, who is working hard understanding the election, looked up at me and said, "You know what, Mom? Both Obama and McCain are friends of God." Which let me know that I have imparted the most important lessons about this country to him. And he quickly followed up with, "Like Santa. And Santa and God have been friends for a long, long time." Which let me know that Christmas is coming. We just hop around holidays here.
Go Vote
Moxie of Ask Moxie also has a personal blog. On it this morning, she wrote:
Lever
So this morning I'm going to take my two white sons who are going to grow up to be white men, and take them to the voting booth. We will (together) pull the lever for Barack Obama. And then we'll look at a photo of him, and talk about how he's the better candidate, and how the better person should be president. And how his skin is darker than ours is, and he has a foreign name (like I do, but my sons don't), and how we're lucky to live in the United States, where what you do is more important that what you look like or who your parents are.
And I know it's a lie, but maybe if I say it enough times to them, they'll help make it true some day.
Such an interesting phenomenon, the power of suggestion.
In my last job in college admissions, when there were university-wide changes on the way, the dean taught us to talk as though it had already happened. "Don't lie, of course," he'd caution us, so if, for example, the Writers House wasn't open yet but was under construction, we didn't want to describe events as having happened already. But, he would remind us, if we don't talk about people sitting in the living room, listening to famous authors read, or poetry circles thoughtfully critiquing each others' work, it would never happen. People who wanted that to happen needed to hear it to make it happen.
It's sort of like Oprah's "Secret" in a professional context. (Which is one reason I really laughed when I saw that show, because the former dean and Oprah share only a little common ground (charisma, definitely, and influence, but I'm struggling to think of any other overlap). So I'm a big believer in talking about the world as we want it to be because that is the first step to making it happen.
And I have to point you to my new separated-at-birth-or-at-least-graduation blog-friend Emily. Her post today, An Election Day Prayer, captures most of what I pray for too. We have two men who passionately love this country, both strong leaders, both deeply flawed. (And I don't even want to get in to the VP candidates.) I am comfortable with my decision and can't wait to cast my vote. But I understand the angst of those who are choosing the other candidate, their hopes, their fears, and that many of their goals for this country are the same as mine (although some are markedly different, and hence my choices).
I want voting records shattered today. I want peace at the polls. And yes, I want my guy to win, of course, just as everyone who votes today does. But I love election days here in my hometown--my first grade teacher, moms of kids I grew up with, men who've taken the collection at my church since I was a toddler plopping in change--that's who works our polls, with pictures of their grandkids and coos over my kids. They were thrilled when we moved to this side of town so they knew they'd see me twice a year at least. And I am grateful every time that I live here and can say that, and don't have to worry about ink on my fingers or danger to myself or property for going to vote. I am grateful to the women one hundred years ago who fought for me to have this right, and my parents for showing me how important it is by always voting themselves and taking me. And I hope all the new voters today grow to love it like I do.
Happy election day to all. See you on the other side.
Lever
So this morning I'm going to take my two white sons who are going to grow up to be white men, and take them to the voting booth. We will (together) pull the lever for Barack Obama. And then we'll look at a photo of him, and talk about how he's the better candidate, and how the better person should be president. And how his skin is darker than ours is, and he has a foreign name (like I do, but my sons don't), and how we're lucky to live in the United States, where what you do is more important that what you look like or who your parents are.
And I know it's a lie, but maybe if I say it enough times to them, they'll help make it true some day.
Such an interesting phenomenon, the power of suggestion.
In my last job in college admissions, when there were university-wide changes on the way, the dean taught us to talk as though it had already happened. "Don't lie, of course," he'd caution us, so if, for example, the Writers House wasn't open yet but was under construction, we didn't want to describe events as having happened already. But, he would remind us, if we don't talk about people sitting in the living room, listening to famous authors read, or poetry circles thoughtfully critiquing each others' work, it would never happen. People who wanted that to happen needed to hear it to make it happen.
It's sort of like Oprah's "Secret" in a professional context. (Which is one reason I really laughed when I saw that show, because the former dean and Oprah share only a little common ground (charisma, definitely, and influence, but I'm struggling to think of any other overlap). So I'm a big believer in talking about the world as we want it to be because that is the first step to making it happen.
And I have to point you to my new separated-at-birth-or-at-least-graduation blog-friend Emily. Her post today, An Election Day Prayer, captures most of what I pray for too. We have two men who passionately love this country, both strong leaders, both deeply flawed. (And I don't even want to get in to the VP candidates.) I am comfortable with my decision and can't wait to cast my vote. But I understand the angst of those who are choosing the other candidate, their hopes, their fears, and that many of their goals for this country are the same as mine (although some are markedly different, and hence my choices).
I want voting records shattered today. I want peace at the polls. And yes, I want my guy to win, of course, just as everyone who votes today does. But I love election days here in my hometown--my first grade teacher, moms of kids I grew up with, men who've taken the collection at my church since I was a toddler plopping in change--that's who works our polls, with pictures of their grandkids and coos over my kids. They were thrilled when we moved to this side of town so they knew they'd see me twice a year at least. And I am grateful every time that I live here and can say that, and don't have to worry about ink on my fingers or danger to myself or property for going to vote. I am grateful to the women one hundred years ago who fought for me to have this right, and my parents for showing me how important it is by always voting themselves and taking me. And I hope all the new voters today grow to love it like I do.
Happy election day to all. See you on the other side.
Monday, November 3, 2008
So Much to Think About
Once upon a time when we were young and there were such things as mix tapes instead of playlists, my husband made one called "Too MUCH Perspective," based on a line from something I don't remember now. I do remember that "Sometimes I Think Too Much" was on there--both of them. (Proving his point, on one of his albums, Paul Simon has not one but two songs by that name.) I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
In some periodical or on someone's blog lately (was it yours? I'll link to it) someone wrote about optimizers and satisficers. These are ways some social scientist describes how people make decisions. Optimizers pore over every detail, examining every angle, trying to figure out the absolute best way to do something. Satisficers gather some information, but much less, and then trust their guts to figure out which option to take.
It may not surprise you to learn that satisficers, in general, lead much happier lives.
It didn't surprise me a bit, as an almost pathological optimizer. I love to find the Best Way to do anything. My compulsive recycling is one symptom. I'm on edge that I haven't googled the quotes and CDs in the first paragraph to add the links to the exact sources. My desperate attempts to plan menus for the week of different things my family loves instead of doing what most of my (much happier, I think) friends do, which is to plan to just have tacos, or baked potatoes, or pasta, or whatever, at least once a week so there is no issue for their family and everyone will look forward to and know they'll enjoy dinner on that evening. I'm not at all capable of "winging it" in a recipe. My efforts to figure out how to trip chain have been known to take me so long that I never actually get out on my errands as I try to figure out the Very Best Way to link things together. And by the time I gather the stuff that needs to be mailed at the post office next to the picture place and the things that need to be returned to the store in the mall and change the kids in to different clothes for the pictures since by this time they have gotten the first ones messy...well, we don't end up going anywhere. And I so can't stand that I didn't link to the blog post in the paragraph above that I had to google it and put it here. See what I mean?
In the great Venn Diagram of life, the Optimizers and the Perfectionists, I suspect, have great crossover. And my perfectionism picks funny places to come out. So as I approach 40, and think about how I used to laugh about people Not Getting Older but Getting More So, this is one of the things I would like to change about myself. My children have already picked up plenty of my bad habits, from shredding fingernails to grinding teeth. This is something I want to not pass on. I tried hard to remember this as I shopped for a TV for the World Series. (Um...Worth It.) Even with the meta-analysis, it was hard not to obsess over what Consumer Reports said, versus what this big box or that big box sold, and were the the same number, and did they have 1080 dpi, and was installation included, and how soon, and could we hang it on the wall and could I see it from the kitchen and was it the right size? And it amazed me we ever bought a house.
At some point, I just took a deep breath, got out the AmEx, and Bought A TV. Was it exactly what I wanted? Yes and no. Yes--it was one of the two sizes we decided, 1080 dpi, which I realized I really could see the difference on, since it was over a price threshold there was a free in-home setup, and on sale. No--I liked the political statement of the smaller TV but went bigger anyway; it wasn't an exact match to the CR highest rated, and it doesn't have the little SD card slot.
But you know what? T loves it, the World Series was gorgeous, and I am happier now that the decision is done. And I need more practice in this since Optimizer self-doubts plague me about almost everything else I do or buy. So while "good enough" is rarely good enough...maybe I have some more room in my life for the good enough.
And one more piece of comfort: I'm not alone. In a classic Optimizer move, I found an old email linking to this article from the New York Times on how people can't stand to let options go, even if they know they have better ones available. And I'd better publish this before I try to Optimize again!
In some periodical or on someone's blog lately (was it yours? I'll link to it) someone wrote about optimizers and satisficers. These are ways some social scientist describes how people make decisions. Optimizers pore over every detail, examining every angle, trying to figure out the absolute best way to do something. Satisficers gather some information, but much less, and then trust their guts to figure out which option to take.
It may not surprise you to learn that satisficers, in general, lead much happier lives.
It didn't surprise me a bit, as an almost pathological optimizer. I love to find the Best Way to do anything. My compulsive recycling is one symptom. I'm on edge that I haven't googled the quotes and CDs in the first paragraph to add the links to the exact sources. My desperate attempts to plan menus for the week of different things my family loves instead of doing what most of my (much happier, I think) friends do, which is to plan to just have tacos, or baked potatoes, or pasta, or whatever, at least once a week so there is no issue for their family and everyone will look forward to and know they'll enjoy dinner on that evening. I'm not at all capable of "winging it" in a recipe. My efforts to figure out how to trip chain have been known to take me so long that I never actually get out on my errands as I try to figure out the Very Best Way to link things together. And by the time I gather the stuff that needs to be mailed at the post office next to the picture place and the things that need to be returned to the store in the mall and change the kids in to different clothes for the pictures since by this time they have gotten the first ones messy...well, we don't end up going anywhere. And I so can't stand that I didn't link to the blog post in the paragraph above that I had to google it and put it here. See what I mean?
In the great Venn Diagram of life, the Optimizers and the Perfectionists, I suspect, have great crossover. And my perfectionism picks funny places to come out. So as I approach 40, and think about how I used to laugh about people Not Getting Older but Getting More So, this is one of the things I would like to change about myself. My children have already picked up plenty of my bad habits, from shredding fingernails to grinding teeth. This is something I want to not pass on. I tried hard to remember this as I shopped for a TV for the World Series. (Um...Worth It.) Even with the meta-analysis, it was hard not to obsess over what Consumer Reports said, versus what this big box or that big box sold, and were the the same number, and did they have 1080 dpi, and was installation included, and how soon, and could we hang it on the wall and could I see it from the kitchen and was it the right size? And it amazed me we ever bought a house.
At some point, I just took a deep breath, got out the AmEx, and Bought A TV. Was it exactly what I wanted? Yes and no. Yes--it was one of the two sizes we decided, 1080 dpi, which I realized I really could see the difference on, since it was over a price threshold there was a free in-home setup, and on sale. No--I liked the political statement of the smaller TV but went bigger anyway; it wasn't an exact match to the CR highest rated, and it doesn't have the little SD card slot.
But you know what? T loves it, the World Series was gorgeous, and I am happier now that the decision is done. And I need more practice in this since Optimizer self-doubts plague me about almost everything else I do or buy. So while "good enough" is rarely good enough...maybe I have some more room in my life for the good enough.
And one more piece of comfort: I'm not alone. In a classic Optimizer move, I found an old email linking to this article from the New York Times on how people can't stand to let options go, even if they know they have better ones available. And I'd better publish this before I try to Optimize again!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Feeling Behind Already
No graphics today, I'm too time crunched. This is one of my last weeks of full-time-out-of-home work for a while and it's kicking my behind already.
That said, VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE.
Monday: My favorite pork roast, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach
Tuesday: Poppy seed chicken casserole, sweet potatoes, salad
Wednesday: Pecan-Panko Chicken Breasts from the late lamented Super Suppers, rice, baked tomatoes
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Clearly, we're going out for pizza.
I can't wait for this week to start and I can't wait for it to end. I love love love this job that I'm passing on to the next guy, but I don't want to be gone full time yet. And while I will adore the meetings I have this week, I will pay for it in off-routine, cranky children. Hence, all the stuff on this menu I can make either ahead of time or by just turning on the stove.
'Til tomorrow!
That said, VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE.
Monday: My favorite pork roast, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach
Tuesday: Poppy seed chicken casserole, sweet potatoes, salad
Wednesday: Pecan-Panko Chicken Breasts from the late lamented Super Suppers, rice, baked tomatoes
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Clearly, we're going out for pizza.
I can't wait for this week to start and I can't wait for it to end. I love love love this job that I'm passing on to the next guy, but I don't want to be gone full time yet. And while I will adore the meetings I have this week, I will pay for it in off-routine, cranky children. Hence, all the stuff on this menu I can make either ahead of time or by just turning on the stove.
'Til tomorrow!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Thanksgiving Planning
Welcome to National Blog Posting Month! I have no idea how this will go for us but boy howdy, I'm going to try.
The 10/30 100 Days to Christmas post charged us to plan our Thanksgiving menus. This is easier for me than than many because our family (ok, my husband's family) is so big, if everyone brings just one thing, we're rolling out of there. And no one brings just one thing!
Of course the flip side is: no leftovers. So while I only "need" to make my own side dish, I end up making my own mini-Thanksgiving dinner at home. There's something about the smells of the stuffing veggies and turkey wafting up the stairs with parades on TV that really defines the holiday for me.
So, for the family, we will bring:
Mousse de Carrottes
Hot PIzza Dip with frito scoops (that will last about 8 seconds with all the teenage boys in the house)
a green vegetable of some kind
and I'm tempted to try the Sweet Potato Biscuits in Wondertime. Though I know that there will be the amazing ones with the little melted marshmallows on top...if the teenagers and kids leave any for when the grownups go through the line.
And at home, I will make:
One boneless turkey breast
One Pepperidge Farms Stuffing with celery and onions
This way, we can have leftover turkey, the way every family should. (And because not everyone will, I will do a test run of everything but the carrots two weeks before and give the food to Aid For Friends to distribute to the homebound elderly in our community.)
Any suggestions for a green vegetable (not salad; there are always at least three of those) for a crowd?
The 10/30 100 Days to Christmas post charged us to plan our Thanksgiving menus. This is easier for me than than many because our family (ok, my husband's family) is so big, if everyone brings just one thing, we're rolling out of there. And no one brings just one thing!
Of course the flip side is: no leftovers. So while I only "need" to make my own side dish, I end up making my own mini-Thanksgiving dinner at home. There's something about the smells of the stuffing veggies and turkey wafting up the stairs with parades on TV that really defines the holiday for me.
So, for the family, we will bring:
Mousse de Carrottes
Hot PIzza Dip with frito scoops (that will last about 8 seconds with all the teenage boys in the house)
a green vegetable of some kind
and I'm tempted to try the Sweet Potato Biscuits in Wondertime. Though I know that there will be the amazing ones with the little melted marshmallows on top...if the teenagers and kids leave any for when the grownups go through the line.
And at home, I will make:
One boneless turkey breast
One Pepperidge Farms Stuffing with celery and onions
This way, we can have leftover turkey, the way every family should. (And because not everyone will, I will do a test run of everything but the carrots two weeks before and give the food to Aid For Friends to distribute to the homebound elderly in our community.)
Any suggestions for a green vegetable (not salad; there are always at least three of those) for a crowd?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween!
Check out the amazing costumes from Girlfriend! We are totally indebted to her. Over the summer, when going through pictures for her son's graduation party, we came across pictures of a Thomas costume she made for him long before commercial ones were available. My boys became enthralled and wanted to be Thomas and Gordon (the big blue express engine). And miracle of miracles, she made it happen. Check out her ingenuity. These are regular boxes, covered with wrapping paper, decorated with electrical and duct tape, some handles from flyswatters, the tops of two Wet Ones containers, spray-painted G@torade bottles, some black paper and plastic plates, and face artwork courtesy of my husband. Wow! The boys are over the moon with excitement. (They just saw them this morning....I wanted to be sure they had some chance of making it to trick-or-treating!)
Of course, this is one of the most unusual Halloweens we may ever experience as we are going to the PARADE!!!! Yes, my husband's beloved Phils came through for him and he has a 28 year old wrong to right, so we're joining the other million crazies running around the city today. And this also gave Gordon a new look he's never had before.
So it's a little crazy around here this morning. In another joyous twist of the day, my mother-in-law's knee is sufficiently recovered that they are continuing their Halloween tradition of coming to give out candy at our house so we can both take the boys. I'm really excited and so grateful for their willingness (our house isn't the easiest for someone with knee issues) and her recovery.
Our candy and pretzel bowl is ready, our UNICEF boxes folded, our piggy banks raided for the UNICEFers who come our way, the camera batteries charged, the memory card cleared, our costumes ready to go. Happy Halloween to all!
Of course, this is one of the most unusual Halloweens we may ever experience as we are going to the PARADE!!!! Yes, my husband's beloved Phils came through for him and he has a 28 year old wrong to right, so we're joining the other million crazies running around the city today. And this also gave Gordon a new look he's never had before.
So it's a little crazy around here this morning. In another joyous twist of the day, my mother-in-law's knee is sufficiently recovered that they are continuing their Halloween tradition of coming to give out candy at our house so we can both take the boys. I'm really excited and so grateful for their willingness (our house isn't the easiest for someone with knee issues) and her recovery. Our candy and pretzel bowl is ready, our UNICEF boxes folded, our piggy banks raided for the UNICEFers who come our way, the camera batteries charged, the memory card cleared, our costumes ready to go. Happy Halloween to all!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Best Crockpot Pork Roast Ever
I'm not sure I ever posted the best crock pot pork roast ever here, which is shocking, since I make it so often.
The irony of this is that my friend Jody, who gave me this recipe, can no longer make it herself as her husband is now vegan! Sorry, Jody, but I make it enough for both of us.
Two-Night Pork Roast
For the first night, take a 3-4 pound pork roast. Put it under the broiler for about 15-20 minutes, with a little pepper and kosher salt. (I add some poultry seasoning as well but it's not necessary.) Then it goes in the crock pot on high for 5-6 hours with:
a sliced onion (I often use several as they taste so good)
1 clove garlic, pressed (I sometimes use the stuff from a jar)
1 bay leaf
1/2 cup water, and
1 to 2 Tablespoons soy sauce.
After it cooks, remove the meat and most of the onions (and bay leaf), and whisk in flour and a little butter to make gravy from the drippings. Serve over mashed potatoes.
For the second day, make homemade BBQ sauce (or use bottled):
3 cups ketchup
2 cups water
dash Worcestershire
dash olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1-2 teaspoons chili powder
Then, shred leftover pork with a fork. Add to BBQ sauce. Cook on low all day.
Serve on kaiser rolls with cole slaw.
But I'll be honest with you: the stuff from the first night is so popular with my family, we rarely get to the BBQ stage! Even the extras are good as pulled pork sandwiches. Enjoy!
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